The Ice Vault – a story for the Friday Fictioneers

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

The man’s mouth moved but her mind refused to accept his words. A pain, so sharp that she struggled to breathe causing her to gasp as she reached out to touch the motionless fingers. Eventually she raised her head, looked up at the man and nodded.

‘If you’re ready, we’ll take him to the vault. The process will begin immediately.’

‘Will he .. When he … Will there be pain?’

‘We don’t think so. It should be like waking after a long sleep.’

The woman nodded and then, she rummaged in her bag. ‘Take his teddy. He’ll need his friend in that strange world. ‘

Thank you to Rochelle at http://www.rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com who organises the Friday Fictioneers. Authors write a piece of 100 word fiction, prose or poetry based on a photo prompt and exchange comments on their work.  If you are a writer of short fiction, join us and see where your imagination takes you.

 

 

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29 Comments

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29 responses to “The Ice Vault – a story for the Friday Fictioneers

  1. Oh this really tugged at my heart!

  2. The false hope of the ice vault makes it all the sadder. Good writing.

  3. Oh my heart breaks…

    • It was the picture on the wall at the end that made me think of a child and how a bereaved parent might try to give her child the chance of a future. Thanks for your feedback.

  4. michael1148humphris

    An interesting but sad take on the photo.

  5. I think the sad part is the scam in it… don’t believe it at all.

    • You raise an interesting point Bjorn. I wonder how many people would believe this possible if it was a chance of returning life to a beloved relative. It goes against everything we know at this time about the natural order of life. Thank you for your comment and for provoking more thought.

  6. Cryogenically freezing a child. Makes my blood run cold.

    • As an ex-nurse and midwife, I agree with your sentiment. In my novel Silencio bereaved mothers have been given frozen newborns to hold (pretending that these were their dead children whilst their own healthy babies were trafficked) and that really happened in the case of the Spanish Stolen Babies. When I heard about this practice, I was shocked and distressed.
      Thank you for your feedback.

  7. David

    Great twist in the writing

  8. Yeah, I’m with Bjorn on that. Sad and really heartbreaking.

    Swell story!!! You made us feel.

  9. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Such heartbreaking words “Take his teddy. He’ll need his friend in that strange world.”

  10. Very powerful. And a killer of a last line. Well done.

  11. Being frozen is not something I would choose, for myself or my children.

  12. Dear Lindy,

    Chilling in the most literal sense. Evocative story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  13. Very heartbreaking tale, and criminal that things like this take place

  14. Lynn Love

    An accomplished and moving story. You conveyed the parent’s emotion so well. Thanks for the follow and look forward to reading more of your stories

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