Friday Fictioneers – Chaos

Every week, writers come together on the Friday Fictioneer site at https://rochellewisoff.com. The goal is to use a photo prompt to write a complete story, poem or prose in 100 words or less and to share the work with other writers.

Thank you to Rochelle for organising this great challenge.

Sorry Fictioneers, I’ve written another dark one. I’m working hard to try to introduce some humour to the novel I am writing but this photo reminds me of the chaos that exists in people’s minds and that led me to the dark side once again.

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

Lucinda stares at the ceiling but he knows that she doesn’t see the white paint. Her mind is full of images that don’t exist. The medics are confused and one mentioned effects of the virus.

Lucinda’s ramblings are incomprehensible to most. Bertie holds her hand while she speaks of dark spirits and strangers and pain. Her memories.

A nurse comes in to the room.

‘It’s the end of visiting time Mr. Davis.’

He smiles and thanks her and leans over his wife, squeezes her arm, leaving imprints of his fingers. Then, he kisses her cheek.

‘I’ll be waiting,’ he whispers.

100 words

16 Comments

Filed under Flash Fiction

16 responses to “Friday Fictioneers – Chaos

  1. Oh, my heart! Sneaky, evil man! Excellent writing.

  2. I thought he was a devoted husband until the imprints of his fingers and his whisper at the end. Poor woman. I hope they some how discover that he’s the reason for her condition.

  3. I thought he was a devoted husband at first, but then entered the sinister ending. Poor dear! Well written piece.

  4. Time comes to us all, and thankfully someone maybe waiting.

  5. I’m not sure what to make of Bertie, is he the loving husband he makes out to be? Well done.

  6. Very dark ending, Lindy, well written with a nice build up to the reveal of what the situation truly is.

  7. That was so well done. Two short lines at the end and a shiver runs down my spine.

  8. michael1148humphris

    This reminds me of the hospital drug induced confusions I experienced, horrific, but very well written

  9. You slipped the chill in there very neatly. I pray she regains her faculties in the night and shares them with the hospital’s caregivers so they can protect her from this monster!

  10. If Lucinda has any sense left, she won’t get better.

  11. A tender moment showing his devotion to her. Well done.

  12. Lindsay,
    You’re right, this is so dark and so well-written. Those marks he leaves on her arm seems to suggest that he’s the one responsible for her painful memories and for her condition.
    ~🕊Dora

    • Yes Dora. I wanted to create a sinister feel to this man who waits for his wife to come home and am glad I managed to convey that. Thank you for your comments.

  13. I like this piece a lot. Such an original take on the prompt. Very well written!

  14. Terrifying scenario for the poor lady.

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