Tag Archives: humour

Bake Off Recipes for the Well Padded

How did I become hooked on a programme about baking? The Great British Bake Off commanded my attention every week and woe betide anyone who dared to telephone during that special hour. I watched the contestants whip, stir, pound, and stretch their creations with single minded attention. The crazy thing is that the last cake I made was about 20 years ago and the Prince Charming was so heavy that he ended up with his head buried in the blue icing (supposed to be the sea but a rather sick looking cross between a muddy pond and a cloudy sky). Anyway, since then my constant battle with the scales has forbidden indulgences such as chocolate cakes and iced buns.

So I am making a plea; why not get the contestants to tackle some recipes for watchers of weight and the growing population who suffer from diseases such as diabetes, etc? It would give a different meaning to carrot cake and banana breads and orange muffins.

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High flight

P1010798Recently I celebrated a milestone birthday which seemed to prompt my loved ones into a competition amongst them of who could purchase me the most wayout present. When I first read this one I thought that I would be jumping out of an airplane for a skydive and my heart fell as my daughter reminded me of my fear of heights. However, this was not the situation and instead I was lifted up into the air in a wind tunnel. The instructor had me down as a troublemaker when he was unable to exit the room at the end of the briefing due to my many questions and concerns. He sounded quite shocked when he passed me my certificate at the end with a number of achieved levels ticked off and an evaluation that I was awesome. The video soundtrack is overpowered by the laughter of my family as they observed my experience and so I have settled for a still picture to show you what it was like.

A word of advice – do it if you can. What fun it was and we can’t wait to book the next trip so that the entire family can try it out.

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Two sentence horror for Halloween

Novel writing is all consuming and that explains my silence in the blog world lately. However yesterday I had a notification from someone I follow about two sentence horror and I had to respond so my friends, I am blatantly pinching their idea and starting a thread for you. My effort is below. Please post yours in my comments section. I can’t wait to read them.

When the knock came at the door, he whispered in my ear, ‘don’t answer’. I obeyed but warm fluid ran down my legs as his hand tightened on my throat.

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Liebster Award – The answers so far

Firstly thank you to Nina of http://www.awritersfountain.wordpress.com for nominating my blog for the Liebster Award. I am touched by the tribute. I am doing my thing in stages as I am under pressure to finish my novel so forgive the delay but my own nominations will be made in a few days.

11 Facts about me

1. In my previous life I was a nurse and midwife

2. I sailed across the Atlantic

3. I speak some Spanish

4. I love to dance.

5. I am a course junkie and love studying.

6. I did a practical course about motor maintenance and used to be able to do all of my own car service.

7. I was on the cover of a motoring magazine in my younger days.

8. I had a poem published when I was 14 years old.

9. I love popcorn.

10. I read everything including the back of the cereal box.

11. I write from my dark side but am ever so jolly in real life.

 

The 11 Questions that Nina asked me to answer;

  1. What is your favourite book?This is a difficult question to answer as I love so many books for many different reasons. Some of my favourites are ‘Shadow of the Wind’, ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’, ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’, ‘Pride and Prejudice’, ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’, ‘Wild Swans’
  2. What would be your chosen pen name? Lindy the bestselling author
  3. What’s your favourite film(s)? Gone With the Wind (I’m a romantic at heart)
  4. Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do in your spare time? I love dancing modern jive and zumba, reading, writing of course, learning Spanish (there are not enough hours in the day)
  5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would that be? Everywhere. I love travelling. My favourite place was the Antartic – I couldn’t get enough of ice and penguins.
  6. The greatest lesson you have learnt in life? Happiness is being with people I love.
  7. Your hopes for the future? (Could be your future, the planet, your Country) To stay healthy and win the lottery so that I can give my kids a house.
  8. Name three things you did this morning. Went to gym (yuck), posted a competition entry, waved at someone out of my window.
  9. What was your first job? Breaking chicken at a fast food restaurant; then I got to toss the burgers.
  10. Who is your hero/ person you admire and are inspired by? My daughter. She has not allowed setbacks in life to get her down and reminds me that she is the greatest achievement in my life.
  11. If you could change 1 thing about yourself what would it be? I would have the energy that I had in my 20’s, the passion of my 30’s, the wisdom and patience of my 40’s; more than one I know but the list could go on.

liebster-blog-awardrules

Have fun and display your banners proudly!

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Short Piece on Faber Academy Website

My piece ‘Writing on the Move’ has been published on the Faber Academy website.

http://www.faberacademy.co.uk/News-and-Features/writing-on-the-move

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Ticket to Pitch

New to the London Book Fair is an opportunity to pitch one’s novel to an agent or publisher in a dedicated one-to-one setting. An email advising that tickets would be available from 9am this morning arrived in my in-box yesterday and at the appointed hour I sat with my finger poised over the mouse. As the page became available with the list of appointments I began to click and watched horrified as they disappeared one by one in a blink of an eye. Finally I managed to nab some appointments for different agents and went to eat my granola feeling quite pleased. When I returned to my computer I was the recipient of an email to say that each applicant would only be allowed one meeting and all of my tickets would be re floated if I didn’t contact the main office. Fortunately I made the call just in the nick of time and still have my meeting set up. I felt like a naughty teenager caught out pinching something from the sweet counter in Woolworths but an opportunity to meet agents and publishers is like a Belgian chocolate – too good to eat just one.

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The Parade – Friday Fictioneers

copyright-renee-homan-heath

copyright Renee-Ronan-Heath

Pam wanted a good seat and Bob smiled as she sprinted along the board-walk. The bleachers were positioned to face the open ocean. The couple claimed their position, front row and central.

The tension of the crowd increased when the sun slid below the horizon. Spotlights illuminated the water’s edge and white sand. Pam bent forward; scanning, waiting. At last, a head appeared in the surf. No one made a sound. The tiny penguin struggled ashore and ran for the safety of the dunes.

*

‘Some flipping parade! 10 bucks to watch half a dozen penguins. What a rip-off!’ Bob moaned as they made their way back to the car park.

Below them, under the board-walk, the penguins sheltered unseen in their burrows, enjoying the human show.

WRITTEN FOR FRIDAY FICTIONEERS – A GROUP OF WRITERS WHO USE A PHOTOGRAPH FOR INSPIRATION AND POST THEIR 100 WORDS (MORE OR LESS) FOR SHARING. IT IS RUN BY THE WONDERFUL ROCHELLE WISOFF-FIELDS AT http://www.rochellewiofffields.wordpress.com

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